Stubbornness vs. Perseverance? What's the Difference and Why Does it Matter?
What is the difference between being stubborn and persevering? Have you ever had a challenge discerning between the two?
Stubbornness can be seen as when we build our home on a floodplain expecting not to have to deal with floods damaging our home. It’s continually rebuilding the home the same way without modifying the design. Perseverance is that green shoot you see peeking between two stones, seeking out the light it needs to grow. It’s rebuilding your floodplain home on sturdy stilts because you love the land so much!
Stubbornness can keep us stuck in an undesirable situation, while perseverance encourages us to keep going when all we can see is darkness. It’s committing to moving forward, to our daily practice, towards our dream, our desires.
I remember when I stubbornly pursued a relationship to prove others wrong. Don’t challenge an Aries that hasn’t confronted his or her shadows: they will push forward even if it hurts them! After 7 years of trying to make it work, convincing myself that I was right, I finally let go, and almost immediately started rekindling joy.
When you persevere you recognize that not every day is sunshine and rainbows in a relationship, but that you hold the space and the patience to pause, self reflect and listen when you have a difference of opinion or a conflict brewing. It’s when an argument is followed by the acceptance that both individuals have a part to play in conflict and forgiveness. It’s having the patience to pause, reflect and come back together to move forward again.
Perseverance is driven by joy. “I will move forward despite the current challenges because I know that I am pulled by heart focused desire.” Stubbornness is “I refuse to give up. I am miserably moving forward despite the pain I’m consistently experiencing.”
As we enter a new year and a new decade, what goals are you going to persevere with and what goals are you going to release? Getting more focused can help you achieve the goals that bring you the most joy.
Discernment is an innate skill that takes time to harness. Often we are more discerning with other people’s choices than our own. As you build up this skill, it can be helpful to have a coach or a wise and unbiased friend or family member help you discern between these two different states of being. This can help you release stubbornness and funnel that energy towards a project you really love, one where you will persevere with more confidence, faith and joy. Are you looking for a coach to help you persevere on your big goals for 2020? Click the link below and apply for our coaching to see if you’re a good fit!